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READING LINKS An excellent sniper mystery from a friend of mine, Earl Staggs. Read it, and let me know if you figured out what happened before the people in the story did. +++++ Do your wishes come true? Harris’ wish did. Think about what the world would be like if nobody could read or write! When Harris Wished for Rain (Warning. Adult content) +++++ I try to stay out of politics in this newsletter, but I wanted to share this story with all of you. I found it inspiring and uplifting. +++++ You have to read this one! Lynette is in a writer’s group with me, and the woman is a riot. She has proof that Professional Football is gay! Check it out here.By the way, a lot of Lynette’s subscribers were upset by her column. I loved it, and figured that if you like my weird humor, you will get a kick out of hers too. +++++ I’m sure you’ve heard about programs that send books to soldiers overseas. Here is one soldier’s thank you, but not exactly for the reason you think. http://www.emailbookclub.com/soldier.html +++++ Have you ever wondered what those treats you buy for your dog REALLY taste like? Well, Steve decided to find out! http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000076.html +++++ What kind of writing would you get from a Mad Dog? Roll-on-the-floor-funny writing! And Mad Dog puts out a newsletter, "Doing it Doggy Style". Every time he shows up in my emailbox, I know I need to visit the bathroom before I start reading. He is wet-yourself funny! From the Mad Dog website: "This site best viewed with Jose Cuervo 4.0" "Cruelty free! No animals were tested in the creation of this web site, but only because they can't read. Sure, some dogs watch TV, but only when Drew Carey is on. They know one of their own when they see him.""Putting the Pro in Prozac" Sound like your kind of reading? Go get a taste of Mad Dog now! +++++ Ok, I really shouldn’t laugh so hard at this. It’s really just a language difference between the US and the UK. But the majority of my readers are from the US, and the UK readers seem to have a good sense of humor. So here it goes! Have you tried Mr. Brain’s Faggots yet? I discovered them in the forums at Straight Dope, and the discussion is hilarious! The best part is that I’ve had similar discussions with my friends Simon and Michael, who are UK natives. I was on messenger one night with Tanner, another US friend, and Michael. Tanner and I had the BEST time sending Michael to a website to look at "fanny packs". Now, Michael is 14, so he was shocked that I would encourage him to look at porn…until he visited the site. For those who don’t understand any of this, "fanny pack" in the US is a small purse worn around the waist. In the UK "fanny pack" is…a female’s private parts. Just as "fag" is a cigarette in the UK, and a "faggot" is…well, check it out yourself. Warning: the Straight Dope discussion contains sexual language! Maybe…depending on what country you are from. Mr. Brain’s Faggots (Don’t forget to check out the Faggot Family!) +++++ Meet an unlikely hero. You will never look at your socks the same way again. http://www.strangehorizons.com/2003/20030630/sock_heroes.shtml +++++ You haven’t read the classics of literature? Good heavens! Get yourself to http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/classics.shtml and catch up. These tiny books are hilarious! +++++ Ever wish you had a machine that would find lost things for you? Especially if you lost something (or someone) very precious? PS: Break out the tissues. I laughed and cried. Lost and Found by Sandra McDonald +++++ "Freewheeling minds bouncing off the walls of the possible". That's how a reader described Really Good Quotes, a unique e-zine that has great quotes, jokes, images, and intelligent commentary and reader interaction. Our readers have rated us 9.22 on a scale of 1-10. Join the fun and see what everyone's talking about. Our Rumors 'n Myths section keeps you informed of the latest e-rumors, and reader submissions to "My Most Embarrassing Moment" will keep you amused. Speak your own mind in "15 Minutes of Fame", where you can tell the world about your favorite gripe. Email reallygoodquotes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com , and see what you've been missing. If you like to be challenged intellectually, instead of being treated like you're intellectually challenged, this is the zine for you." I love this zine! It comes three times a week, and you never know what will be in it next. All readers are invited to share their thoughts and opinions. As a matter of fact, the bulk of the ezine is reader’s opinions and discussions of past topics. You can read past issues and sign up at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/reallygoodquotes/ +++++ Do you like ebooks? I like them because they are so much cheaper then paper books. Right now, Novel Books has a special where you can download two ebooks for $2. I’ve grabbed a couple for myself, but haven’t had the chance to read them yet. And don’t forget, ebooks don’t take up shelf space, and they don’t gather dust! Check them out here. They have many ebooks for sale. Look around, if you haven’t discovered ebooks yet, you may become a convert! +++++ I haven’t forgotten my cynical readers this month! Have you ever been in love? Is love everything the poets say it is? Read a different opinion here. "Love isn't heaven, or unerring light—it is a sickness." by Stephany Aulenback +++++ Found a really interesting short story the other day. Did you ever feel like your life just didn’t fit you? http://www.writeronline.us/fiction/gilligan-3-10-03.htm +++++ I’ve always like the actress Kathy Bates, but she has gained another notch in my esteem. I haven’t seen the movie About Schmidt yet, but I can’t wait! http://www.crescentblues.com/6_2issue/com_kathybates.shtml +++++ That does it! I have to start buying coffee. I don’t drink it, but I have to start hanging out in the coffee aisle, at least. If I can’t get anywhere with human men, I’ll start looking at aliens! What am I talking about? http://www.strangehorizons.com/2003/20030203/spaceman.shtml ++++++ I loved this book! One of the best I’ve read in a long time. My favorite quote from Uluru Dreaming was: "A warrior is honest, loyal to those she chooses. Indomitable. Free in spirit. You’re a warrior, little one. Just don't think about it. A warrior is a warrior because of her actions, not her thoughts. A warrior lives by choosing her actions and taking responsibility for her actions. And whether her actions are good or bad, successful or a failure, matters not at all. In the end, nothing matters at all–and that is a warrior's greatest challenge. A warrior faces that challenge head on, accepts it and laughs because it doesn't matter and laughing feels better than crying." Monsters, rape and murder, the end of the world, a child in danger, mystical beings, faith, hope, overcoming fear…this book has it all. Don’t read it late at night though! You’ll have to sleep with a light on. +++++ You don’t have to be an adult to have insight into what would make the world a better place. If you really listen to children and teenagers, you will be amazed at how much they really understand and know, and how deeply they feel. With the publication of the latest Harry Potter book, U.S. publisher Scholastic ran an essay contest posing this question: "If you could have one special power taught at Hogwarts, what would it be, and why?" I’m sure that it was no easy task to choose 10 winners from the 12,000 responses they received. The winning essays are posted here. I was stunned at how deeply some of these essays touched me. A couple nearly brought me to tears, while others had me laughing aloud. Please click and read, I’m sure you will enjoy. One of the lucky winners is the daughter of subscriber Heidi Kaminski, editor of "Sarcastic Women" ezine. Lucky Heidi got to join her daughter on the trip to the UK, and met J. K. Rowlings herself. I’m so jealous! ++++++ Do you ever get tired of happy endings? Grit your teeth and wish that, just once, the apartment building on Friends would blow up? Do you find yourself smiling at dark humor? Then I have the place for you. Pea Soup for the Cynics Soul, Warm Fuzzies for the Bitter and Jaded. No saccharine in these stories! +++++ Winter is here now. Too cold to go out to the library, and who wants to spend all that money on books? Well, have I got a deal for you! Free Fiction.com (http://www.free-fiction.com/) is a great place to curl up with your computer and read to your heart’s content. Not just bits of books to get you to go out and buy the paperback, but complete books for your free reading pleasure. Click over and check them out. No charge, no hassles. The only thing that may be slightly annoying is the fact that it keeps opening new windows when you click a link. But all you have to do is go back and close them. There are ads in the books, but you don’t have to do anything with them. It’s like watching TV. You get the story for free, and you can watch the commercials or not. Or magazines, where you are free to turn the page and ignore any ads. Read their instructions first, and then enjoy! +++++ Do you like music? Books? Electronics? Sports cards? Do you love finding a bargain? Then you’ll love this link! This is my favorite shopping spot. Half.com is an electronic flea market. Find what you’re looking for at half price, or even less! If it’s time to clean out all those old books and CDs that you've lost interest in, this is the place to do it. Buy and sell nearly everything, at bargain prices. Sellers are rated by their customers, so you have a better idea what kind of person you are buying from. Click here and check it out. I believe they are still offering a $5 coupon for first-time buyers. And on half.com, $5 can go a long way! Click here to check it out! +++++ L'Aquilone du Estrellas (The Kite of Stars) By Dean Francis Alfar, illustration by Hal Hefner http://www.strangehorizons.com/2003/20030106/estrellas.shtmlA great short story! Entire lives wasted on a love that was never real. A real love wasted, thrown away for a dream. A terrific short read. Strange Horizons has an archive of terrific short stories, all speculative fiction. Many articles and poems in the same genre. I get their newsletter to let me know when they have new stories posted. You may want to sign up too, if you like what you see. +++++ Frontier Publishing has a unique format. There are several novels on the site, and new chapters are added monthly. Now, I’ve never cared for serialized novels, I prefer to have the whole book when I sit down to read. But none of these books are published. As a matter of fact, none of these books are finished yet! I’ve gotten quite involved in a couple of these novels, and I impatiently wait for new chapters to be added each month. My favorite is "Dire Planet", and it is almost finished. But the others are interesting too. I personally don’t care much for "Fierce Pop Songs", but I read it anyway. So click on over to Frontier Publishing and check them out for yourself. You can post your comments too, and let the author know what you think of their writing. +++++ Armageddon by Derek Gunn (free-fiction.com , 2001) Another action-adventure story. This one doesn’t have Atlantis or Greek Gods, but it does have a lot of vampires! I really enjoyed it. And yes, there is a slight love story included. "In the apocalyptic world of Armageddon, Vampires breed drugged, compliant humans in walled cities. Thralls, humans who have been bitten but have not crossed over, control the population by day as their Masters sleep. A small group of humans overcome the drug’s effects and create a small pocket of resistance determined to recover family and friends. Too soon, however, they discover that they cannot slowly rebuild their strength as planned. The serum used to maintain complacency is ultimately fatal—and mankind’s time is quickly running short." www.free-fiction.com is a great place to read. They have recently introduced a paying system, but there are still dozens of books available to read for free! Stop over and check them out.
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Check out my books for sale on Half.com!
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Audrey Shaffer Enterprises 558 Philadelphia Street, 2nd Floor Indiana PA 15701 724-801-8390 |